So I have a confession. Those of you that know me well already know this: until now, the longest I've been single since high school was maybe 4 months, maybe. Ray moved out December 8th of last year. Things were over long before then. It's a little surprising given my serial monogamy that it's been over 7 months since I was officially single and I haven't found myself in a committed relationship yet. I think for the first time in my life I've actually been avoiding it.
Not that I don't feel some sort of external pressure. I'm nearly 32 and single. Supposedly this is the time in my life where I'm supposed to have it all figured out. Pregnant, married, etc.
Working for MSF is not exactly conducive to meeting and dating. It's an intense environment. I had thought there would be a lot of sex when I joined up, but I'm starting to doubt that. Let me rephrase that, I was told specifically by multiple people that there would be lots of sex. I have yet to hear of this promised sex. There is a lot of sex(ual) tension, but no sex. There's not time and even if there were, it's not wise to shit where you eat. That could cause some serious real tension.
In the past, I based a lot of my decisions about my future on what my boyfriends thought or who I was dating at the time. For once, it's nice to make my own decisions and hear MY voice. I miss being in a relationship and I really hope I'm not single forever, but taking this time for myself is well worth it. I think I will look back and appreciate it in the long run. At any rate, I doubt I will ever be bitter about doing something so incredible for myself.
"I'm a pilgrim on the edge. On the edge of my perception. We are travelers on the edge. We are always at the edge of our perception."
-Scott Mutter
Not that I don't feel some sort of external pressure. I'm nearly 32 and single. Supposedly this is the time in my life where I'm supposed to have it all figured out. Pregnant, married, etc.
Working for MSF is not exactly conducive to meeting and dating. It's an intense environment. I had thought there would be a lot of sex when I joined up, but I'm starting to doubt that. Let me rephrase that, I was told specifically by multiple people that there would be lots of sex. I have yet to hear of this promised sex. There is a lot of sex(ual) tension, but no sex. There's not time and even if there were, it's not wise to shit where you eat. That could cause some serious real tension.
In the past, I based a lot of my decisions about my future on what my boyfriends thought or who I was dating at the time. For once, it's nice to make my own decisions and hear MY voice. I miss being in a relationship and I really hope I'm not single forever, but taking this time for myself is well worth it. I think I will look back and appreciate it in the long run. At any rate, I doubt I will ever be bitter about doing something so incredible for myself.
"I'm a pilgrim on the edge. On the edge of my perception. We are travelers on the edge. We are always at the edge of our perception."
-Scott Mutter
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